Mastering Show, Don’t Tell: The Power of Visceral Storytelling in Writing

By PassKey Publishing
March 22, 2024

There could be entire books written about the writing advice “show, don’t tell,” as this element of craft one of the most multilayered pillars of strong writing. This is also why it can be the hardest to grasp and implement well in your own writing. There’s just so much to it. Which is also exciting, because possibilities are always exciting.

Today, we’re going to break down one component of “show, don’t tell.”

The show in “show, don’t tell” often gets narrowly defined as meaning the visual aspect. (For example, she cried simply turns into tears ran down her cheeks.) But effective showing is really way more than that. One of my favorite components of showing is the visceral aspect.

Have you ever read a description so poignant that you physically felt the character’s emotions?

Do you ever read a line about a character’s sadness or grief or terror and your heart actually clenches? Most often, this happens to me while reading a romance, during the breakup or the dark night of the soul beat. If there’s a description, a few lines of show that make my heart clench, the entire book is automatically elevated in my mind, because I felt it. That’s the power of effective “show, don’t tell.” It’s not just about seeing the story; it’s about feeling it. This emotional connection can transform a good book into a memorable one.

From Visual to Visceral: Enhancing Impact

So, how do we elevate our writing from mere descriptions to visceral experiences?

Great question, one with many answers.

Here are a few techniques I recommend:

Physical Reactions to Emotions: Show how emotions manifest physically in your characters. Then take it another step. A clenched fist can show anger, but what about a fist clenched so hard the character feels their nails break the skin, in crescent-shaped pinpricks?

Emotional Dialogue: Craft dialogue that reveals the underlying emotions of your characters. Let their words carry the weight of their feelings, rather than simply stating how they feel. For example, it’s one thing for a character to have a thought about another character that would hurt their feelings. It’s another for the character to actually say it and for the other character’s feelings to be hurt, which pulls harder on the reader’s sense of empathy.

Metaphors and Similes: Use metaphors and similes to draw comparisons that evoke emotions. As long as these are apt, they can be very memorable. For example, I recently read a line about the perennial butterflies in the stomach when someone catches feelings, but this author took the metaphor a step further and implemented an entire new layer of show, describing how the character felt the tips of the butterfly wings brush against the bottom her heart as they took flight. It was lovely.

Contrast and Juxtaposition: Use contrast in scenes or character reactions to highlight emotional states. Juxtaposing a character’s internal turmoil with a calm setting, and vice versa, can intensify the emotional impact. A common example of this is a character feeling lonely in a crowd. However, in a thriller, a character could experience fear amid a festive atmosphere while being stalked through a carnival.

Pacing and Sentence Structure: Adjust your pacing and sentence structure to match the emotional intensity of a scene. Short, choppy sentences can heighten tension, while longer, flowing sentences might be used in more reflective moments. I haven’t measured this, but I’m under the impression my heart actually beats a little faster when I’m reading an action scene with short, choppy sentences, even sentence fragments. This is visceral showing because the reader is right there with the character, not really having time to think only to act.

In closing, mastering “show, don’t tell” is about delving into the emotional and experiential world of your characters. Close your eyes and put yourself in their place. As you experiment with these techniques, remember that the goal is to create a visceral connection that transcends the mere visual. It’s about making readers feel every pulse of your narrative.

So, take these strategies and observe how they transform your storytelling and bring your characters to life in the minds and hearts of your readers.

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